I have found that I have specific feelings for specific days. I feel a certain way on a Monday and then just because it’s Tuesday I will simply just feel a different way. Waking up on a Friday just naturally makes me feel better and I know whatever the day throws at me I can handle. The great thing about these feelings is that they can change and even interchange with other feelings and other days. I used to love Monday’s, I know what you are thinking, “How in the hell can anyone love Monday’s?” After all we all either have to go back to work or back to school and the thought of 4 more days after of the same hell just becomes depressing and for some it’s actually overwhelming. I know some people who will have anxiety attacks just from thinking about their upcoming week. I used to love Monday’s because there were some awesome shows on TV. This was before the writer’s strike that happened. I had a show for everyday of the week and there was some days where I had 2 or 3 shows and I would be so excited on that day. I think back now and I know why. I demanded to be left alone and no one was allowed to interrupt me while I watched my shows. I would put my cell phone on vibrate and my home phone volume to zero. It was my reboot moment when I would be able to escape from life and watch other worlds and enjoy the drama. When I say drama I mean the mellow drama of the acting. I didn’t like the acting most of the time but the story or concept of the show was intriguing. I was in bliss from Monday to Thursday. I left Friday’s and Saturday’s for going out.
Now things are different. There is hardly and good show on TV and I find myself looking forward to certain days and hoping other days just fly by without event. I also have started doing something that I never thought was possible for me to do. I have distanced myself from people. Not friends or family but people in general. I can’t stand the things that people say. I find myself asking in my head towards the person speaking,
“Are you really listening to yourself when you speak?”
I was on the subway some time back and I was so fortunate to sit beside 2 women who were speaking Portuguese. Have I mentioned I am Portuguese? Oh, by the way, I’m Portuguese. So I sat there and pretended not to know what they were saying and this one lady was just ranting on about how this other woman she knows is being cheated on by her husband and how the wife doesn’t know and how if it was her she would leave the man and how much respect could she have someone who stays with a man like that. I will admit she said much more but she was ranting so quickly that I am just letting you know the important parts. For all of you that know me, you can imagine how much willpower I needed to stay quiet. I have a tendency to make my opinions known. Some people say I’m opinionated, I prefer to call it a Public Service. I cannot allow stupidity to go unchecked. If you are in my life and there is something I believe not to be in your best interest, I will let you know. The last thing I ever want is for someone to say to me,
“Hold on, you knew all this time and never said anything?”
I believe if you care about someone, it is your highest priority to voice your opinion on anything in their life. Now, please do not mistake what I am saying as a way to tell people what to do and when to do it. I make it very clear that it is just an opinion and at the end I ask,
“Would you like some advise?”
My friends always want to hear my advise, no matter how brutal it may be. I especially can’t stand self-pity. I won’t even let you finish the story if I know it’s self-pity. Back to the women on the subway.
I find this trait in more and more people. Self-Righteousness. This trait is the single most disgusting trait you can have. In my opinion, it feeds hatred, and it’s disguised as a good intention.
This woman on the subway seems to know and understand the other woman who is being cheated on. First of all, if you know this person and you have had contact with them and you know someone is mistreating them, say something.
“But I don’t want to cause trouble.”
This comment is such a cowardly thing to say. As a human being it is our job to lookout for each other. I am not implying to get involved in everyone’s business. I am saying the people who are in your life. They have come into your life for a reason and maybe, just maybe, your intervening in their life is exactly what they need.
I know about a fourteen year old boy who has a small group of friends and for him they are everything to him. They have supported him through some very difficult times and even when his life was put on hold because of medical reasons they never deserted him. One day one of his friends (a girl) told him that she was cutting herself. It is a very well documented fact that anyone who is cutting themselves is extremely depressed and very suicidal. It is a loud and clear cry for help. She begged and demanded for him not to tell anyone. She just wanted to let him know because she knows he cares about her. He ultimately shared it with another close friend and the boy told that friend that he thought he needed to tell an adult because he was afraid something might happen to this girl. The second friend said,
“If you say something, she will get in a lot of trouble.”
That made the boy worry even more, because now not only was he worried about the girl but he was now faced with the prospect of his friends and peers thinking he can’t be loyal to his friends.
“What if she doesn’t want to be my friend anymore, because I told someone.”
That is a very real and legitimate concern and I immediately thought,
“Well I’d rather have an angry human being then a dead human being.”
You can fix anger. You can’t fix dead. This boy out of fear of losing this friend of his told his teacher who immediately acted. This boy lived with his own fear of losing friends, rather than live with the loss of his friend.
I haven’t told you this story to inspire you or make you have hope for humanity. If you know me at all, you know there is no hope for humanity. We are too selfish. I told you this story because this is a boy. Not an adult. If someone who is that age can be so selfless and wise and tremendously courageous then why can’t we?
The women on the subway made themselves sound so intelligent and wise because they think that hindsight and making comments on someone’s life is so righteous.
“I know better than you and so that makes me better than you.”
That comment is ultimately what they are saying and I for one think it’s just evil. Evil breeds ego and ego feeds self-righteous comments and behaviour. Self-righteous people are the worst kind of people. Why? Because they believe that what they say is the right thing and anyone else that disagrees is ignorant. If you have someone in your life that you love, care about and trust, and they are betraying you. Would you like it if someone told you?
Your answer to that question defines your ego.
If you know I am being mistreated, TELL ME!!!